~May Your Light Shine :D~

Monday, January 07, 2008

Today, I encountered a question that was simple yet complex, and it really left me to think a lot about my own life, how I want to live it, and how underaccomplished I am. Other's answered it easily, effortlessly, yet it left me stunned for a full 5 minutes(which is really long) and I decided to leave it till I was older(and it's not like I have much time left).

Know what the question was?

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I HATE HATE HATE this question because I always can't answer it. I can't, and could never ever do it. It's not like I have a natural flair for anything that I'm willing to spend half my lifetime on and depending on it for my livelihood, and I really don't want to do something I don't like, yet when I think about it, there's rarely any occupation I like at all. Everyone else was going, "Vet!..... Forensic pathologist!..... Fashion Designer!..... Biomedical (something)!....." and I was actually envious of them for being able to reach their decision. It's not that I don't WANT to have a goal or ambition, I want to, but I just can't SEEM to. I don't even know which industry I want to work in, AT ALL. All I know that it definitely has got nothing to do with physics, or maths.

And I'm having a severe identity crisis. It's all gaiaonline's fault. I met so many people there who had mixed races(i.e. hispanic and native american. half korean, half german. etc.) and it left me wondering if I really AM pure chinese. I asked 3 friends, and their comments weren't exactly helpful, though interesting!

1. HG said that I look Taiwanese. -_-"

2. SM said that I look different from most Singaporeans, but overall I still look like one(can't figure out what that means)

3. HM said that i look 90% chinese, and when I asked her about the other 10%, she said she didn't know what race it was.

That did it. I've made up my mind, and I've decided that when I'm 21, I'm going to go for a DNA test, and find out where my roots are and what traits found in my DNA are from which race. I know it hurts, but I'm willing to do it. At least I THINK you can do it, because Oprah Winfrey did it and they had information like "__% east Asian, __% African...".

Anyone wants to join me for the DNA test?

My Kitchen blogged at Monday, January 07, 2008

May your light shine...
in the darkness...