Want to know something else? I've always cried curing my injections. It's like a tradition that I can't seem to break, just like how my brother and I always eat Skittles when we're on our way to the airport, picking out the different colours in the darkness(since most of our flights are at night).

I don't even know why, but there isn't a reason for that fear or I would have conquered it.

It's not even the intensity of the pain, because honestly, injections don't hurt as much as I always thought it would. And I have to keep telling myself that before stepping into the clinic, over and over again, but it doesn't work. At all.

So yesterday when I was told I had to go get a jab, I wasn't that nervous. I'm already pretty used to it, but the hour before the jab was just mentally unnerving because I kept thinking and thinking about it. Throughout the journey to the clinic I couldn't stop whimpering.

But then I thought, hey, why not break a record. Injections don't exactly HURT as much as you're imaging it to because I've had it so many times and I've never figured out why I even cried because the pain wasn't that intense. So I challenged myself to not cry this time.

We raeched the clinic. And when I realised that the clinic was pretty empty and that my turn would come in no time, the fear grew worse. And of course, the clinic staff are already pretty used to my fear for jabs so they just smiled and shook their heads. I mean, this isn't the first time I've gotten a jab there and definitely not the first time they're gonna witness me cry and scream.

Ok, so my turn came. Well, mine and my brother's really. My brother, obviously went first, and he didn't make a sound, not surprisingly. When it came to my turn, like all the other times I got a jab there, I whimpered and screamed and shrieked and they almost had to hold me down. I then reminded myself of my 'challenge' and tried, I really tried to not cry btu I couldn't. The thought of the needle poking into my skin, into my flesh and releasing the vaccine into my bloodstream just made me more hysterical.

Int e end, I gave up my resistance and I began to tear a little as the alcohol swab was swiped over my skin, why I don't know. And when the needle was really in my arm I couldn't take it and just burst into tears, like all the past years.

I even cried AFTER the jab, for some reason.

But I was relieved that the jab waS over, and also pretty happy that I now have a proper injury because I haven't had one for so long and yes, my arm hurts now and the area around it a little hot but it feels so nice to have a wound.

For once, I'm actually relishing the pain, the soreness of the wound and the feeling of weakness in my left arm. That injection was so worth it. I'd do it again and again just for this feeling.

Yup, I'm weird.